“On my very first porn set, I became very big very quickly,” said Brittni De La Mora.
She was just 18 years old when she starred in her first X-rated movie, launching a seven year career in the adult entertainment industry. “I was named one of Maxim’s Top 10 Hottest Porn Stars. I was on Jenna Jameson’s Playboy TV show called American Sex Star.”
Brittni got her start in 2006. At the time she was a college freshman planning on going into broadcast journalism and a dancer in a California strip club. While dancing helped pay for tuition, it also gave Brittni the attention she always longed for. “The cheering and the applause made me feel good. It made me feel affirmed, because I lived a life where I always felt like I was rejected and like I wasn’t good enough and I didn’t belong.”
One night at the club, two men asked if she was interested in filming porn. The next day she was on a movie set at a home in LA.
“I thought, ‘Well okay, I’m already promiscuous. I take my clothes off for money. Why not take it one step further?’ And I honestly thought I’m going to make even more money and I can still finish school. I didn’t think that there were going to be such horrible consequences.“
She was quickly caught up in the life of a porn star and all that came with it- – the praise of an adoring audience, money, and recognition. “Every time I got an award in that industry, it made me feel like I had accomplished something.”
But none of those things fulfilled her need for love. With each passing year, Brittni slipped further into depression. “Although publicly I was smiling, internally I was hurting and I was crying. And I didn’t tell anybody.” Everyday she used drugs to cope. “I thought as long as I get high and feel anything other than depression I can just at least get through this day. I felt horrible about myself on the inside. I hated myself. I had no real purpose. I would wake up in the morning, get high, have sex, collect a paycheck and buy more drugs.”
Hoping to break the cycle, Brittni agreed to attend church service with her grandfather. She says her hope was restored that day. “That was something that I had lost over the years of being in the porn industry. And in life, I lost hope. And Jesus gave me hope. So I prayed the prayer of salvation that day and I was given a Bible.” But Brittni never went back to church, or pursued her faith and returned to the sex industry.
“I didn’t know the truth. I was living in sin and darkness because the light hadn’t been turned on in my life yet.”
Over 3 years later, Brittni was packing to fly to Las Vegas for a film shoot, when she heard something. “Before I leave for the airport, I heard the voice of the Holy Spirit and He said, Bring your Bible.”
She took her bible and during the flight and started reading the book of Revelation.
“And at this point I get to Revelation 2:20. It says that I have this thing against you. He’s talking to one of the churches. You tolerate this woman named Jezebel. She leads my people into sexual immorality. I’ve given her time to repent and if she doesn’t repent, I will cast her and her children into a sick bed. And I started crying. Because I realized in that moment that was my Father in heaven speaking to me about the way He felt about sexual immorality and I had a conviction that I shouldn’t be doing what I’m doing and I apologized to God and I asked Him for forgiveness.”
Brittni cut all ties to the porn industry and started pursuing God and living her life for Jesus Christ. A year later she met her husband, Richard. They now lead a young adult ministry at their church, as Brittni shares how God’s forgiveness and unconditional love changed her life.
“Through Christ, I am able to see myself with love, because for the first time in my life I had found real, true love. And it felt so good to know that not only did my Creator love me, but that He could love me even after every mistake I’d made in life. After every sin that I’d committed, after everything… He loved me through it all. And that was a love so deep that I didn’t even know existed.”